you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
