i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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