So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
