i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize