Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
