a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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