I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i dont even know how to be here
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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