A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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