After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
