He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So many bounce houses so little time
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
