flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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