Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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