She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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