I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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