He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
