I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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