we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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