I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
