I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
