So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm both gender and math confused
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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