My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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