Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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