Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
