I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
