i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
