It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
