he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize