I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
