I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
