she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
