So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
