Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
