it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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