chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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