she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Found your dick twin last night
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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