i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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