found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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