cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize