Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
