I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
