yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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