Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
