i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
