Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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