dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
