now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
