Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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