what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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