Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
