that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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