Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
