Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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