So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize