brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
