what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
