he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
