a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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