yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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