I want to have your abortion
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Your dad touched me again.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
