i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
